I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
