Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were trust falling into bushes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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