Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
