The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
