I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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