It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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