If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
