Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The uberlube is also flammable
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
