His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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