How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
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I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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