Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
