I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
