I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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