Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
