the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
