I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize