Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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