Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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