Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
