he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
