Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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