So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
