so explain again why im purple
no
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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