Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
