I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
