Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
