Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A bitchslap is in order.
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