That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
