so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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