reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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