This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
