so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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