I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would fuck him just for his dog
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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