I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
