we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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