Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
