just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
