I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
