my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
