What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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