Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
