no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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