Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
