She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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