i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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