I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize