Me too!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
