The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
