with your own penis?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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Semen is not good for contacts.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
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pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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