i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
