You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
