im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
