I can't breathe out the right side of my face
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
where are my eyebrows?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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