i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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