i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
