Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
