He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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