he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
