I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
