Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
