When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
