Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
