What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
